


Knowledge or Death

by BleuSarcelle



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blade of Marmora Keith, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, He accidentally adopted a puppy, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith's Mom - Freeform, Kolivan knows shit about being a parent, Kolivan with Feelings, M/M, Which is Keith, background klance, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12500400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleuSarcelle/pseuds/BleuSarcelle
Summary: It’s usually the eyes.More than the eyes themselves, it’s the fire inside them. The spark of determination and promise of doing the unthinkable.It’s a fire he hasn’t seen in a long time.Keith rolls, something he seems to taken a like to everytime he enters a pod, before he slams his back against the far corner of the pod, choking up at the impact.And it’s the same fire that gets the kit in trouble.[The one where Kolivan takes Keith into the Blade of Marmora and slowly starts to understand why one of his most trusted soldiers didn't want to leave Earth.]





	Knowledge or Death

**Author's Note:**

> Look, man, I just want safe and happy loved Keith and heck yeah i'm making every single character to bond with him and to love him. IM LOOKING AT YOU KOLIVAN. 
> 
> So, I worte this! No beta'd, bc I'm a lil shit with no chill, so ecuse the typos and grammar and such.

_The mission comes first._

_Or so he had thought._

 

* * *

 

Kolivan stares down from the control room, eyes never leaving Keith’s figure as the former Paladin of Voltron fights off their fellow Blades.

He’s been improving; moves becoming quicker and deadlier than before. It’s easy to see the Galra blood inside the kit but there are moments when he forgets he’s also part human.

Kolivan shakes his head trying to get rid of those thoughts, ignoring the odd look a Blade sends him form the side as he continues to watch the training below him.

Keith fights like he flies; without hesitation. Every strike is meant to be deathly and none of them flatter in the least but he has yet to master to take advantage of his strengths and how to manipulate his adversary's.

Keith falls yet again - for the twelfth time, the Galra adds in his head - and Kolivan can see the heavy breathing from the kit, shoulders slumped with exhaustion but eyes still like daggers as he raises from the floor slowly, charging once again.

The digital clock against the glass tells Kolivan that Keith’s record on enduring the training has been surpassed, something that took him over four spicolian movements to archive, but it’s also a reminder that it wouldn’t be long before Keith would pass out from exhaustion, his human body still not qualified for such rigorous training.

Kolivan sighs internally before he turns around and heads towards the exit, knowing full well the way this training session would end up like.

Knowledge or death, it’s the blade’s way.

The beeping sound from the other side of the control room makes him stop. Kolivan turns slowly, eyes narrowed in concentration as he reads the words flashing against the glass.

The training has ended and with a quick look below, Kolivan sees Keith kneeling on the floor, head thrown back as he takes deep breaths that seem to never fill his lungs but all of six Blades lay near him, either out cold or just worn out.

Kolivan hums and then leaves the room without a word.

Knowledge.

 

* * *

 

It’s usually the eyes.

More than the eyes themselves, it’s the fire inside them. The spark of determination and promise of doing the unthinkable.

It’s a fire he hasn’t seen in a long time.

Keith rolls, something he seems to taken a like to everytime he enters a pod, before he slams his back against the far corner of the pod, choking up at the impact.

And it’s the same fire that gets the kit in trouble.

Kolivan scowls in front of him, foot aching to be tapped against the pod’s floor as he allows Keith a few ticks to gather his surroundings, the ship already in motion to leave the Galra fleet.

“You went against my orders.” Kolivan huffs, hands closed up in tight fists, “This was a surveillance mission, not one to _engage combat_. This might cost us half ot the mission and without that chip there’s no possible way...”

Kolivan trails off, curiosity gaining the best of him when the kit raises his hand towards him.

Keith looks up, cheeky smile in place as he holds up a small chip between his fingers and Kolivan pauses for a tick, the image of a taller and older Blade smirking at him flashes in front of his eyes and there’s a name at the tip of his tongue.

A name that had left his mind for who knows how long. A name he had blocked and buried it deep in the back of his mind never to come back to the light again.

A name whose owner gave Keith the same cheeky smile.

So, maybe it not only the eyes.

Kolivan blinks, mouth opening in what could almost be surprise before he huffs and turns around, heading towards the pilot seat. If there’s a small pleased smiled curving at the corner of his lips, no one is around to witness it.

Knowledge or death.

“You were saying?” Kolivan hears Keith mumbles smugly as he picks himself up and starts a new transmission with Voltron.

Knowledge.

 

* * *

 

The base’s halls are quiet, eerie quiet, but it’s everything Kolivan has known them as.

He walks down the hall with ease, no need to rush into battle for once and yet his body still on edge at any sudden change that may come.

He tenses when there’s a soft noise coming from the end of the hallway, near the common rooms. With his own blade activated, Kolivan makes his way down, letting the purple glow from his weapon to be his only source of light as he hides behind the half open door and looks inside the room.

Kolivan finds the kit cuddled up against the corner of the bed, blanket thrown over him and almost covering his eyes. Keith speaks into a small device, something he got from the small Green Paladin in their last visit to the Altean Castle.

Keith’s voice is low and Kolivan is able to make you some words, but he still tries to block them, knowing full well this is not a conversation meant for him.

The name of the Blue Paladin is repeated occasionally, but there’s no way for Kolivan to understand their conversation. The only thing he’s able to hear is the fond and eased tone on Keith’s voice, something Kolivan had yet to witness with his own two ears.

Then there’s this word, this simple and yet foreign word that leaves Keith’s lips that makes Kolivan pause.

 _Family_.

It’s spoken softly and yet with a sad edge. It makes him sound younger. Way way younger than any Blade member, and yet here he is: a young kit playing soldier while barely out of the teenage years.

The realization makes something inside Kolivan chest to clench unpleasantly.

He stands straighter, mind ready to leave, but then the small device dims its light, the soft orange it has been lighting Keith’s face disappearing before leaving him in darkness once again.

Knowledge or death.

“I miss you too,” Keith mumbles under his breath, as if it was a secret no one could ever know, and then he sighs.

Kolivan leaves quietly.

Knowledge.

 

* * *

 

Kolivan nods aimlessly as the Black Paladin keep talking in front of him.

The last report from the Coalition is better than expected and Kolivan may not show it, but there’s a small spark inside his stomach at the numbers that just keep growing and he thinks maybe it’s time to hope again.

There’s commotion at the corner of his eyes and it makes him shifts his gaze, eyes falling on the small group in the far corner of the control group.

The kit sits on the Yellow Paladin’s chair, barely visible as he’s surrounded by the rest of the young Paladins. Their conversations change every few ticks, making it a little difficult for Kolivan to follow, but it must be something nice, because the three Paladins are laughing and smiling at each other.

The Black Paladin must have noticed the sudden change because it is then that he follows his gaze and there’s a small smile breaking through his lips.

“They are good kids,” he says with a nod but Kolivan can hear the clear affection and fondness those words carry, “It’s easy to forget, you know? That this is not a chosen lifestyle.”

Kolivan stays quiet, Shiro continues.

“They didn’t chose this,” Shiro sighs, tone turning somber, “But they fight through it anyways; they hold on to each other because it's the only thing that keeps them together.”

“Teamwork is important.” Kolivan nods.

“Family is important.” Shiro shots back quietly, eyes never leaving the small group, “I don’t want Keith to forget that,” he whispers, sending a side look towards Kolivan and the Galra stares down at him, hearing at the hidden message.

It’s not the Blade’s way. There’s no place for bonds and attachments in their line of life. It always have been knowledge or death, no other way -

Keith’s laughter cuts his thoughts off and Kolivan watches silently as the Yellow Paladin brings the kit to his side, locking him in a headlock that Kolivan has seen to mark the death of many and yet Keith only laughs gleefully as he wrestles against the hold, shoulders at ease and relaxed.

He looks so trusting. He trusts these people and it's as clear as a nebula as the other two Paladins laugh along with him, joining the playful wrestle that reminds him of what Galra kits would do behind their Mother’s back what felt a lifetime ago.

It makes him pause and his mind runs wild, his own thoughts crashing with each other before settling down with reality.

Maybe it’s the Blade’s way, but it might not be Keith’s.

“He won’t.”

Knowledge.

 

* * *

 

Instinct is something they do not have the luxury to follow.

They are lingered with emotions and it’s something they can’t afford. They can’t afford the possible compromise what these feelings may bring with them, how they can ruin the mission.

This time, however, instincts is the only thing driving Kolivan.

It’s barely a tick.

Half a breath, almost half a heartbeat, and yet it’s enough for him to step in before his mind has time to acknowledge what his body is doing.

Kolivan barely gasps, even as the warm blood starts pooling out of the hole in his stomach. He stands tall, taking a deep breath before he launches forward to tackle down the sentry that had aimed at Keith’s back.

He hears Keith’s shouting behind him, a familiar shout of rage filled with impulsiveness but Kolivan shakes his head, pain starting to fog his vision as he re-activates his own blade and fights off the small army that had ambushed them.

They manage to open their own path, feet moving fast towards their escape pod and Kolivan knows. He knows they won't make it, not with the way Keith keeps  trying to pick up half of his weight as Kolivan slumps heavily to his side, blood loss taking a toll on him.

They won’t make it. Voltron might be too late this time and the thought sets his chest on fire.

It’s a familiar fire, one he hasn’t felt in a long time.

He looks to his side, catching Keith’s scrunched and pained features as he drags his body towards their pod, hurried and yet slow, not wanting to aggravated his wound.

They won't make -

Kolivan shakes his head and the fire grows.

 _He_ won’t make it.

“Go, now!” Kolivan shouts back, ignoring Keith’s surprised yelp as he pushes him away, towards the pod, “I will hold them off! Take that pod and return to Voltron.”

“What are you talking about¡?” Keith yells, eyes blown wide in disbelief, “What the fu - No! We’re almost there! The team’s on their way! We can - !”

The Galra soldiers just keep getting closer and from the corner of the eye Kolivan can see their remaining fellow Blades joining them from the side.

Taking a deep breath, he makes his choice.

“Gilliant!” Kolivan shouts, pleased to know his fellow Blade quickly focuses on him, ready as always for their order, “Take the kit and get out of here, _now_!”

There’s not even a split of hesitation, not with them. Gilliant is quick to run towards them, swooping Keith in a single move and throwing him over their shoulder like he weighed nothing before running towards the pod, the rest of the Blades following close behind.

“No! No! What are you doing¡? We gotta - Kolivan!” Keith shouts, struggling against the Balde’s hold as they take him away, “No, no! We can still - Kolivan, don’t do this! Stop!”

The pod’s door closes and Kolivan can finally drop his blade, ignoring the familiar sound of a lion roaring in the distance.

Knowledge or death.

When it comes to Keith, Kolivan’s decision is easy.

Death.

 

* * *

 

Waking up is something he didn’t expect.

The crypod opens slowly, the cold fog inside it finally dispersing and allowing him to see beyond the glass.

He steps out quietly, eyes looking around the Altean Castle’s infirmary before they fall on the small figure sleeping next to the pod.

There’s no one else around but there’s evidence of their presence. Some empty dirty bowls sit next to Keith and a few blankets with pillows lay near the dashboard in the middle of the room.

He kneels in front of the kit, watching carefully his features. Keith looks exhausted; there are dark circles under his eyes and skin a shade paler than usual.

Kolivan has always been aware that the word ‘soldier’ is just a mere concept. It’s not a physical living thing with enlisted qualities and traits. It’s a concept buried deep inside every single creature in the universe.

As he watches Keith’s chest rise with a steady rhythm, the blanket covering him only barely as it slides down his frame, Kolivan can’t help but wish Keith’s soldier had stayed hidden.

“Now I understand.” Kolivan mumbles under his breath as he pulls the blanket up, tucking Keith back in the process, “I understand why she didn’t want to leave.”

Knowledge or death.

Keith stirs and blinks sleepily, dark blue eyes taking a sharp edge of purple on their corner as they focus on Kolivan and he frowns.

“Who?” Keith asks, voice raspy and low.

Kolivan takes a deep breath before he answers. “Your mother.”

Knowledge.

 

* * *

 

He’s there when Keith’s stolen pod lands inside the Castle’s hangar.

Kolivan waits silently in the middle of the hangar as the pod’s door opens slowly, finally allowing him to catch the figure of Keith exiting the pod only to stop at the edge.

Kolivan frowns, if ever so slightly, and takes a step forward. He blinks in surprise when Keith speaks up for the first time.

It sounds wrong.

“I’m okay,” Keith croaks out weakly, body against the exit for the pod, “I’m...I’m okay.”

Kolivan sees the shaking, the small trembling on the kit’s hand as he desperately tries to hold on to the pod’s frame, aching for something or someone.

Kolivan stays quiet as he makes his way over, feet _almost_ leaping into action as Keith’s body jerks out of the sudden and then the kit’s sliding down the door’s frame, shaking only growing as he keeps his head down.

“I’m…” he whispers, almost as if confused and scared, “I’m okay?”

Kolivan doesn’t answer, instead, he kneels down in front of Keith, eyes narrowed in concern as he takes in the kit’s appearance.

He looks okay, by basic medical standards, but there’s something in the way his shoulder shake and his eyes look glossed and distant that makes him pause.

Shock. The kit’s in shock.

“I was going to -” Keith swallows, eyes still wide and unfocused and Kolivan wonders if he even knows there’s someone with him, “I was...the barrier. I was going to take it down but…”

Kolivan’s heart turns cold at the words, not needing for Keith to finish to know where they were going. There’s a heavy sudden weight on his stomach as his mind replays Keith’s words.

_‘Maybe not without weapons.’_

Kolivan’s hand hover over the kit’s shoulder, hesitation clear in his moves, but then Keith chokes up, shrinking into a ball as small quiet sobs start echoing around them and then Kolivan drops his hand.

He calls for assistance, the Blue Paladin being the first one to answer and then he waits. He waits for them to arrive as Keith shakes and sobs next to him.

The fire inside him grows, insitics pleading to him to give in.

Kolivan doesn’t have a choice before Keith’s falling forward, colliding against his chest as sobs wreck his body and Kolivan stops fighting.

He pulls him closer, arms surrounding the kit’s small frame and a low soothing sound leaving the back of his throat as he gently rocks Keith in his arms.

Knowledge or death.

Neither.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Here’s my tumblr, just in case: [bleusarcelle](http://bleusarcelle.tumblr.com)  
> AND my writing tumblr for small drabbles I don't post here: [bleusarcellewrites](http://bleusarcellewrites.tumblr.com)


End file.
